


haphephobia

by gaytimetraveller



Series: haphephobia [1]
Category: Persona 2
Genre: Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:51:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytimetraveller/pseuds/gaytimetraveller
Summary: haphephobia, a fear of being touchedJun doesn't have the easiest time letting people touch him, and Tatsuya isn't very confident in physical, at all really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i need to edit this so much when its not late because i've been watching nic cage movies and im afraid i accidentally wrote down a funny nic cage line in here somewhere and i haven't picked up on it, but im gonna post this

It wasn’t much of a secret that Jun struggled with being touched. He had a difficult time trusting others, especially enough to let them touch him, the only real exception had always been Maya, she was often the only person he would let hug him or generally that close to him. He just, he couldn’t bring himself to trust all of his friends that much, not after years of what had happened, it was just _too much, too soon_.

Of course this came with difficulties, especially dating Tatsuya, who could never express his thoughts with words, who didn’t do much better with touch than words. Jun _understood_ , he always understood, and he’d never felt worse than when he couldn’t even bring himself to hold his own boyfriend’s hand. But, of course, Tatsuya understood too, he understood Jun as Jun understood him, something Jun could never be grateful enough for.

So, they started off small and simple. Sometimes when they were at Tatsuya’s when his family was out, watching a movie on the couch, away from every problem that plagued them, Jun would quickly brush his hand off Tatsuya’s, or the other way around.

After a few nights Jun managed to work his way up to getting used to briefly holding onto one or two of Tatsuya’s fingers, even if it was small, it was _something_. Jun didn’t understand why Tatsuya never seemed to be impatient with him when he knew that they could hold hands and hug and cuddle so easily if Jun wasn’t so afraid, afraid of being too trusting, afraid of trusting the wrong person and having that come back to bite him in the ass later again just like it had so many times before.

Sometimes Jun felt bad about not being able to hug and kiss and cuddle Tatsuya like he wanted to (but he couldn’t, not yet, too soon, _too soon_ ), so they did other things instead. They went out on dates, out at nice restaurants or sometimes just a stop at Peace Diner, and some nights one of them cooked for the other instead. Jun bought carefully arranged flower bouquets, Tatsuya bought much less carefully arranged flower bouquets. (Jun loved them either way, how could he not?) They both started the habit of blowing kisses when neither was exactly comfortably enough with real kissing, not quite yet.

It took a while, but eventually Jun and Tatsuya figured out how to hold hands without one of them getting nervous, or Jun pulling his hand back after ending up too overwhelmed. It’d all happened without either of them really noticing, they’d wanted to try holding hands once at Jun’s watching old tapes on his tv; it was only after the credits of the last episode of Featherman on one of the tapes Maya lent around started rolling that either of them realized they were still holding hands.

Jun had never been so _happy_ to finally _trust_ someone enough for something like that.

Tatsuya was always so _gentle_ too, Jun wasn’t the only one that wasn’t quite comfortable with touch, although Tatsuya was always more nervous of accidentally hurting his boyfriend, whereas Jun was more afraid of being touched.

Before either of them had the courage to actually hug each other Tatsuya would lightly take Jun’s hands, more careful than he’d ever been with anyone else, and rub circles along the backs of Jun’s hands with his thumbs. It was more thoughtful kindness than Jun had ever had, than he’d ever thought he’d deserve.

Over time, Jun went from holding his boyfriend’s hands to latching onto his arm, especially when the weather started getting colder and Tatsuya was practically a human heater. Slowly, ever so slowly, wrapping himself around one of Tatsuya’s arms started to turn into half a hug. Neither of them was quite confident enough to hug for real, but they tried.

Not much happened until the night the two of them ended up at Jun’s place after being out stargazing most of the night, and they ended up asleep on a few quilts piled up on Jun’s floor seeing as his bed wasn’t really big enough for two. They were both asleep before they really even knew it, but at some point Tatsuya ended up with his arms loosely wrapped around his boyfriend. Jun woke up, feeling safer than he ever had, as safe as he’d ever felt in Maya’s arms, and warmer than that.

“This is a hug,” he murmured, still in a daze and mostly asleep. “S’nice,”

It’d been a long time since someone had tried to wrap their arms around Jun without him flinching back, it was _nice_.

From there, things were still slow, sometimes Tatsuya rubbed Jun’s hands, sometimes they hugged, and they still blew kisses at each other like children, but it was nice and cozy and more than either of them ever thought they’d have.

Then one day they were sitting up in Tatsuya’s room, Tatsuya quietly playing with his boyfriend’s hair, Jun reading a book.

“Jun?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…” Tatsuya trailed off, as he tended to do, and Jun waited, leisurely looking up from his book.

“Hm?”

“Um…your forehead?”

Jun smiled up, patient as always, as patient as Tatsuya always was with him. “My forehead?”

“Yeah…can I…kiss it? There?”

Jun was still for a moment, flushed bright red, then slowly closed and put down his book. “Yeah, s-sure hon,” he stuttered, turning around to face his boyfriend.

“You okay with this?” Tatsuya asked, brushing Jun’s hair out of his face.

“Yeah, j-just a bit, n-nerv-nervous,” Jun figured it would be best to just close his mouth, put his hands on top of Tatsuya’s, smile, and not try to speak any more words before he ended up stuttering everything.

He waited for a moment as Tatsuya tenderly pressed a barely-there kiss to his forehead, and he knew Tatsuya was definitely blushing ten times harder than he was but it didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

A week and a half later when Tatsuya was nearly asleep on Jun’s couch, and Jun believed he was already asleep, Jun gave him a fleeting kiss on the cheek. Tatsuya was too nervous to let him know he was still awake. The next day he had the chance to ask to return the favour, Jun said yes. They were both still as red as before, and in the back of his mind Tatsuya wondered how most couples managed real on the mouth kissing without being embarrassed all the time.

Months and months after they’d started dating, the two of them were lying on Tatsuya’s bed on a warm day, one of his arms slung over Jun, and Jun wondered why he’d been so afraid of letting Tatsuya of all people touch him. They weren’t all the way there yet, but Jun had grown to be far more cuddly than before, and everything seemed so _easy_ , especially when Tatsuya was so patient, so doting, he couldn’t help but smile. Jun couldn’t imagine not touching Tatsuya again, although he could understand why, he was always holding his boyfriend’s hand, or latched onto his arm, or hugging him somehow, it was just so easy to do the things that he’d been so afraid of before.

And yeah, maybe they were still blowing kisses to each other instead of actually kissing, but everything could happen in time, when they were both ready. Jun had some difficulties being touched, and Tatsuya wasn’t always so sure of himself when it came to being more physical with his boyfriend, and they weren’t exactly like other couples, who hugged and kissed without thinking about it. But, slowly, in their own time, they were getting there.

They were getting there.


End file.
